He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
