she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
