I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
