I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
