i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
