We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
