well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
