I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
