he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
