I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
