he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize