why didn't you poke me back
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize