Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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