At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
