you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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