I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
