So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
