Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize