There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
