He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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