You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
