That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
