I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
