I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize