what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize