Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
