Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
