tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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