For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I looked at my own cervix.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
