and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
