But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Randomize
