i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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