do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
