i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize