he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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