Ambien. No doubt about it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
