I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Enjoy the penises
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
