Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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