she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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