Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize