mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
