you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
