we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
