Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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