You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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