just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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