if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize