I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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