We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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