i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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