I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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