You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize