Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
