Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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