Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
