Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
