I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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