Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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