Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
