whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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