it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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