so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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