Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
