My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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