She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize