this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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