I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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