Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My dick has a subreddit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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