apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
