it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
